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So, do you need a wedding planner ?

So, do you need a wedding planner ?

Dreams have an extreme range in size, expression, possibility, depth, emotion and so many other aspects. But we all have them. Whether we dream while we sleep or daydream while we are awake, whether we remember every aspect or just the scary parts, we all dream. But the daydream … that is where we want to live today.

When you stop and let your mind wander to your favorite place, where are you? Who is there? What does it look like? What time of year is it? What are the colors? What is the theme? How does it make you feel? Does it energize you? Does it make you smile and feel at peace?

When you walk into your venue, you should see many of the same things you see in your mind’s eye and feel the same thing that you feel when you drift off into your daydream land. Anyone can plan a party, but few can bring you to that place. Only you know what that is … what it looks like, what it smells like, how you feel when you are there … and you can bring it to life. Just close your eyes and dream … and when you open them, write down what you saw and don’t leave out any of the details. You deserve to live your dream … whether you can actually ‘go’ to your special destination location, or bring it to life wherever you are, your dream can be a reality.

Remember to be okay with your dream changing now and again.  Most of us have many dream states.  I started out with my dream wedding being a sparkling winter wonderland, with light blue, shimmery silver and white snowflakes. The turnout … black, white and silver with punches of bold red splashed throughout the room with a black and silver New Year’s Eve bash to close  It was more of a holiday wonderland once the plan came together.  But it was my dream, my idea, my plan and it was just what I wanted.  And you can have that too  Keep dreaming and note all the details.  You will find things that inspire your dream wherever you go, whether you are outdoors, in the malls, watching television or in the shopping center, things will jump out at you, so be watching for them.

THE PLAN

So now you have the inspiration … the look and feel of your event has been dreamed up. Now, how do we put it into action? Let’s set up a general outline of some of the things you will need to accomplish, without including all the little details that go in to getting them done:

* Announce Engagement – preferably by postcard/card via first-class mail and newspapers (social media is becoming more acceptable as well, just do not forget those not connected on-line)

* Set the Budget – best to know your limits before shopping

* Set the Date – what time of year fits into the theme and color scheme of your dream state?

* Set the Stage – theme, colors, décor, indoors/outdoors, formal, casual, large, small, simple, elaborate

* Shop for and book a ceremony venue – indoors/outdoors, religious, secular, formal, informal, large, small

* Shop for and book reception venue – indoors/outdoors, buffet/plated/hor devours, on-site or catered, formal, informal, large, small … select a space that is available on the date you select and will compliment your dream decor.

* Shop for and book vendors – wedding planner, venue, tent rental, caterer, florist, photographer, videographer, entertainment (DJ, Band), stylist (hair, make-up, nails), baker (cake, cupcakes, cake pops, dessert buffet), transportation (limo, horse & carriage, party bus), stationary (save-the-dates, invitations, table number/name cards, place setting cards, thank you cards), lighting (up lighting for ambiance, stage lighting), dance instructor (for dance lessons),

* Shop for and book rehearsal dinner venue – indoors/outdoors, formal, informal

* Prepare guest lists – for ceremony, reception, as well as shower/bachelor party/bachelorette party

* Register for gifts – make registries available to your guests on-line

*Reserve blocks of hotel rooms – for out of town guests

* Send formal wedding announcements – save-the-date postcards and newspapers (social media is becoming more acceptable as well, just do not forget those not connected on-line) and include registry and hotel information for those who like to shop early

* Retain vendors – confirm availability of your selected vendors and retain services with deposit

* Shop – wedding gown, bridesmaids gowns, tuxedos, shoes, accessories, wedding party gifts, favors

* Design florals – bouquets, boutonnières, corsages

* Plan parties – Engagement Party, Bridal Shower, Bachelor Party/Bachelorette Party, Honeymoon

* Purchase wedding accessories not gifted at parties – champagne flutes, cake service, cake topper, guest book, flower girl basket, ring bearer pillow, unity candle/sand set, gift card box

* Purchase wedding attire and rings – bride and groom

* Prepare itinerary and program/bulletin – for rehearsal, for ceremony, for reception, for photographs, for entertainment to announce traditional wedding party, rites and rituals

* Keep in touch with vendors – to keep in the loop as to number of guests, timing, provide lists, etc.

* Write vows and meet with officiate – provide itinerary and discuss his/her requirements and recommendations

* Send Invitations – for rehearsal and for ceremony/reception at least 60 days prior to wedding date

* Obtain Marriage License – research state or local authority requirements as to timing … usually okay to obtain 30 to 60 days prior to wedding date, but not within 24 hours of wedding date.

* Purchase gifts for each other – something intimate between bride and groom

* Coordinate name change process – in the event the bride wishes to take the groom’s last name

* Prepare seating chart – your venue coordinator (or wedding planner) will often provide you with a table setting graphic so you can organize seating of your guests

*Compile emergency Vendor listing – with contact information to have with you at all times

* Prepare baskets and favors – amenity baskets for restrooms , welcome gifts /gift baskets for hotel guests and favors for all guests

* Confirmations – contact venues, vendors and any guests who hadn’t responded to invitations to confirm

*Transport – provide venues with any and all items and/or accessories needed for their particular event, along with an inventory list, to ensure you get everything back

*WED – PARTY – HONEYMOON

I know … it’s a long list and there are so many little pieces of each bullet point that need to be managed. To some, this may come easy. But to others, this could be a daunting task … especially if the bride works fulltime.  You should know that there are alternatives to getting your dream wedding details nailed down with little of your time and effort.

THE BENEFITS OF HAVING A WEDDING PLANNER

According to the American Academy of Wedding Planners, did you know that:

* Couples get engaged year `round

* Average engagement = 16 months

* Average wedding cost = $28,000+

* One out of every 64 Americans get married, annually

* 44,000 weddings take place each weekend

* 94% of brides have big, traditional weddings

* 90% of engaged couples hold jobs

* Wedding planners/bridal consultants alleviate stress, legwork, aggravation, and also save time.

* Weddings are expensive and brides-to-be cannot afford to make mistakes.

* Wedding consultants/planners know where to cut costs to save their clients’ money.

* Bridal consultants get their clients the best value for their dollar, the biggest bang for their buck.

And according to TheKnot.com, 33% of brides hire wedding consultants/planners (to aide in the planning of their wedding) and 52% hire ‘day of’ wedding consultants/planners (to manage their vendors, rehearsal and wedding day).

It is not unusual that people question the cost of a planning service. If the host does not have something tangible in their hand that they can see, feel, smell, taste or hear, they have difficulty determining its worth; mostly because they cannot get a sense of the ‘complete package’ of what they will get for their money.

So when an event or wedding planner says, “I can plan your dream wedding leaving you stress free”, that’s great … but what does that mean, exactly? Well, that is a big question that would take another book to describe, but the following will give you a brief overview of what a wedding planner can take off your plate so that you have more time and energy to focus on your fiancé and your pending marriage.

To start, you should know that most planners will initially consult with you for free. At the initial consultation, they will ask numerous questions, set out some guidelines and answer any initial questions you may have. And some will have a vendor list to get your started, which would include a list of local venues, disc jockeys, photographers, videographers, florists, officiates, stylists, make-up artists, specialty clothing stores and outlets, websites, gift stores and so much more.

Once the planner is retained, he/she will get to know you, your personality and your desires to some degree, so that he/she can even whittle down the extensive vendor list and suggest some specific vendors that fit into your vision … the appropriate venue, the vendor that would likely work well within your vision and personality, a color scheme that would fit your theme, etc. This alone could save you hours upon hours of shopping for just the right fit. Yes, of course you will still meet with them and decide for yourself, but a planner can give you focus and get you moving in the right direction to save you precious time and energy.

Then there are the numerous details to be discussed with each of the vendors. This is a time consuming piece of the puzzle. With a planner retained, you simply unload all your thoughts and ideas just ONCE to your planner and he/she will take it from there. This is a time saver, as your planner will then take your plan and discuss it with each and every one of your vendors and set all the wheels in motion toward bringing your vision to a reality.

Change your mind? Not to worry Your professional planner knows that things will change over the months of planning, but he/she will take care of that too. Again, just drop and load your thoughts onto your planner and he/she will take care of making it happen.

The best part of having a planner is to have someone there at your beckon call at any time, day or night Imagine if you are a third shift bride that goes to sleep at 7:00 a.m., but wants to discuss changes, alternatives or just have questions you want to get out so you can sleep. Your planner is available to you when you need him/her. He/She will be aware of your regular availability and will work around your schedule … unlike many of the vendors you will be working with … or your friends and family, for that matter That leaves your mind free to focus on other things, including sleep, and your planner can deal with the vendors for you on their schedule.

Your planner is basically your runner … your gopher (‘go for’), so to speak. When you begin to feel the pressure, it is as simple as shooting out a quick email or picking up the phone to chat with your planner and he/she will take it from there. She is there to basically take care of every detail noted in the ‘general outline’ listed above.

Even if you are long distance, your planner can work out the details. So if your planner is in New York you are a bride in the State of Florida, so what if you’ve worked all day and the last thing you want to do is to chat on the phone. That’s okay Simply shoot your planner an email and go on with your day. Or, you can collect questions over time and consolidate into one email and your planner can shoot back answers as he/she gets them.

Trust me, as a bride that planned her own wedding, your family may want to be there for you, but they cannot always be available when you need them. Your planner will be.  And he/she won’t get annoyed with changes and glitches, as he/she is used to it. Sometimes it is just best to keep your relationship with your family stress free and trust a professional to handle the details you may not have time for.

Most importantly, a bride truly has no idea the stress she will feel the final week of her big day, until she is head over heels in it  A wedding planner will fully manage the week of your special event and relieve all excess stress that can really get a bride down. A planner will make sure all your ducks are in a row, all your eggs are finally in one basket, all the ‘i’s are dotted, all the ‘t’s are crossed, all the details are ironed out (including your gown), all your vendors are confirmed, all your guests are taken care of and your dream is set a stage for your viewing … and the party goes forward without a hitch (at least none that you can see).

Your planner will be there to provide you with itineraries and inventory lists and will guide you through your rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, be there as you get ready for the big event taking care of all your needs and putting out any proverbial fires that are likely to unfold in the final hour. You do NOT want to be thinking about all the details of the event when you should be relaxing with your family and friends, sipping mimosas as you get a mani/pedi or get your hair styled.

So for many, retaining the services of an event or wedding planner is the only option so that you can sit back, relax and enjoy your time with your family and friends. You put too much thought, time, effort and money into this day to not fully enjoy it. Your dreams can be a reality that you can be a part of.

People often ‘go it alone’ because they do not think they can afford a professional to assist them, or they are not willing to risk their vision with someone they do not even know. Well, the truth is, you cannot afford not to. Risk is what planning is all about, and it is more of a risk to go into planning any significant event without a professional. Being present in the industry allows your planner to get you the best vendors at the best prices. In addition, they will help you to avoid any hidden fees that may creep up on you in the end (even such things as tax, tips, etc.). By saving you money around every corner, you can now afford to have an experienced professional by your side, taking your side, to help make sure you come in under budget and on time. As the old saying goes, feel free to “be a guest at your own wedding.” This is a day you do NOT want to miss It is okay to let the professionals take care of the details while you enjoy time with you new spouse, family and friends.

VENUE WEDDING PLANNERS

Your venue provides a wedding planner you say? Do not be mistaken. On-site venue ‘wedding planners’ do not actually assist you in the planning of your wedding, outside of making sure the reception site is staffed, food and beverage is provided and the décor you provide is set up. And even then, depending on the scope of your décor, you may have to provide the venue with assistance in helping them set it up. Taking the reins comes easy to a professional planner, but for individuals planning their own wedding, this could be daunting.

Brides and grooms are often misled by the terminology. The reality is, the on-site “event/wedding planner” should be coined the title “venue event manager”, as that is their true role. They are going to ensure that you get the best service possible on the day of your event/wedding at that specific venue. Therefore, their focus is going to be on their staff, the kitchen, the food presentation, the stock, the set-up, the break down and those type of details.

With all of that to be managed, there will likely be little focus on your individual needs throughout your event/wedding. Additionally, they are not going to meet with your vendors with you to ensure you ask all the right questions; they will not be helping you shop for the perfect favors or wedding party gifts; they will not be calling your vendors to make sure they are paid and confirmed; they will not be doing your running for you; they will not be at your home making sure you have plenty to eat and drink on your big day; they will not be ensuring you get each and every photograph you want from your photographer; they will not be delegating tasks at the Rehearsal to ensure the ceremony runs smoothly; they will not be running around town to get a hairstylist after yours cancels on your wedding day; they will not be ensuring everything is on site that you may need; and they may not be around at your event/reception when you need them.

So it would stand to reason that if you are looking for someone to actually assist you in ‘planning’ your event/wedding, or even simply to inspire you to bring your vision to the next level, that should be left to a professional “event/wedding planner” who will answer to YOU, not their site manager. It will be all about what YOU want, when YOU want it throughout the planning process It is an investment that will ensure you get the biggest bang for your buck, no matter what your budget.

There is so much to consider in wedding planning, but even if you do have the time and motivation to do all the planning yourself, you are not going to want to be ‘in charge’ of making sure everything comes together on your special day. As most planners have a team of professionals, they can be in multiple places at once during the week of and on your big day, relieving any stressors that may be present when the tensions are most high. A planning company can be retained as a full service planner to physically assist you throughout, or simply as a ‘day of’ coordinator to consult throughout the planning and as the coordinator for your rehearsal and wedding day, so you can still enjoy the last week and your big day.

You do not have to do it alone And you can afford a wedding planner/consultant. They will work within YOUR budget, manifest YOUR dream and will make sure YOU shine on your big day. Because they know …  it is all about YOU.

Julie C. Baker – jsldevents.com

This is a sample chapter from the brilliant book Wedding Secrets. Available from Mithra Publiashing

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3 Comments

  1. uniqueeventdesigns@gmail.com'

    Kiddos to this writer, I felt like you really explained what “WE” always try to express to our consumers. It takes a flexible event/wedding planner to work with a bride that needs flexibility in all areas of the planning, production and management of an event/wedding. With each consumer we are an extension of “THEM” bringing to life their imagination, dreams and wishes.

  2. rareoccasionsinc@ymail.com'

    Are wedding planners great to have, of course! Are they needed, well, depends on who you’re asking! There are plenty of weddings that are planned each year by the bride herself and they come out beautifully! As a wedding planner myself, I don’t like or try to convince people I am a necessity, because I don’t feel that way. My clients are the ones who recognize the value and convenience in having a planner. Whether they have small or big budgets.

  3. pianolady25@comcast.net'

    Hi, I believe you missed making note of a very important vendor: the ceremony musician. He/she has a major role in making sure the ceremony runs smoothly, whether it’s a short 10 min outdoor event or a full catholic mass. Please don’t underestimate the value of the most important part of the day by not mentioning the musician who plays the biggest role in that. Thanks

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